Get Out of the Identity Trap and Follow Your Dreams

Harry Browne, the author of “How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World: A Handbook for Personal Liberty”, describes freedom as follows:

“Freedom is the opportunity to live your life as you want to live it.”

He explains that people are not free because they accept without challenge certain assumptions that restrict their freedom; he calls these assumptions “traps”. In his book, Browne identifies fourteen different traps that people usually fall into. One of these traps is the Identity Trap.

People fall into the Identity Trap when they do the following:

• They try to live up to an image that others say is the only legitimate image they’re allowed to have.
• They deny their own identity in order to fit in with what is considered the correct way to be and act.
• They force themselves to live in a stereotyped, predetermined way that doesn’t consider their own desires, feelings, and objectives.
• They deny desires that aren’t in line with what they’re supposed to want.

Browne indicates that instead of looking outside of yourself in order to determine who you should be and what you should want, you need to decide these things by looking inside of yourself. He adds that you’re a unique individual; there’s never been anyone else exactly like you. Therefore, you need to decide for yourself what makes you happy.

And how do you know what makes you happy? By observing and taking seriously your own emotional reactions. You need to be true to yourself by doing the following:

• Find out who you are.
• Be yourself.
• Express yourself as you really are.
• Do things your own way.

Being Trapped in a Box

Right now you might be trapped in a box. A box, as Browne defines it, is a situation which you find to be uncomfortable and which restrains your freedom. You may be holding the assumption that the cost of getting out of the box is too high to consider. Holding on to a false self-image, or a false identity, is part of being trapped in this box.

Browne indicates that in order to get out of the box, you should consider the following:

1. The price you pay for remaining stuck in the box.
2. The cost of escaping from the box.
3. What you could do after escaping from the box; that is, the benefits that you gain by escaping from the box.

The Previous-Investment Trap

When you’re considering whether to attempt an escape from the box, beware of the Previous-Investment Trap. This is the belief that time, effort, and money spent in the past must be considered when making a decision in the present. Browne says the following:

“In every case, the question is: With what you have now, what is the best way to use that to get the most in the future? What you’ve paid to get to where you are now is irrelevant; those resources are gone and can’t be retrieved, no matter what you do.”

As an illustration of the Previous-Investment Trap, there’s a lot of people who would like nothing more than to switch careers, but they keep thinking of all the time and money that they spent going to law school or medical school, or getting some other credentials. Here’s what Browne would say to these people: so the solution to having wasted all that time and money is to waste even more time?

Think of the following saying: “Stop throwing good money after bad.”

Escaping the Box: An Example

Watching “America’s Got Talent” is one of my guilty pleasures. One of the things that I like the most about watching the show is when the person who is auditioning has a dream–to sing, dance, or entertain audiences in some other way–, but they’ve never acted on it before. Then they come out onto the stage and they completely blow the judges and the audience away. This happened last week.

One of the contestants was 42 year-old Cindy Chang. Cindy is a homemaker who always wanted to sing, but she was told by her family that she couldn’t pursue that dream. She started taking singing lessons in her late twenties, and was told by her instructor that it was too late for her.

Nonetheless, she showed up at the “America’s Got Talent” auditions and she sang her heart out. I absolutely loved her performance, and she even got a standing ovation from Piers Morgan. It was like watching someone climb out of the box that they had been stuck in.

You can watch her performance below (if you’re reading this by email, click over to the blog to watch the video):

Conclusion

Browne explains that you are the sovereign of your life. You rule your life, and you rule it completely. You decide what your next action will be.

Are you stuck in the Identity Trap? Are you living your life based on what’s expected of you, instead of living it the way in which you really want to? Do you have any dreams that you’ve pushed to the side because they’re not in line with what you’re supposed to want? Then, it’s time to start planning your escape.

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