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More Happiness Tips: Eckhart Tolle

by Marelisa · 32 comments

creative workspace

“The modalities of awakened doing are acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm. Each one represents a certain vibrational frequency of consciousness. You need to be vigilant to make sure that one of them operates whenever you are engaged in doing anything at all – from the most simple task to the most complex.”~ Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle is a spiritual teacher and author born in Germany and educated at the Universities of London and Cambridge. At the age of twenty-nine a profound inner transformation radically changed the course of his life; he devoted the next few years to understanding and deepening his inner transformation and then became a counselor and spiritual teacher.

Tolle is the author of the highly acclaimed #1 New York Times bestseller “The Power of Now”, in which he explains that by honoring the present moment all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. The following three happiness tips were taken from his follow-up book, “A New Earth”.

Beware of Your Background Unhappiness

In “A New Earth” Tolle talks about the background unhappiness that most people experience. It’s a general feeling of discontentment, resentment, and irritation that for most people is present almost constantly in the background as they go through their everyday lives. This feeling is fed by unconscious thoughts that go along the following lines:

“There is something that needs to happen in my life before I can be at peace (happy, fulfilled, etc.). And I resent that it hasn’t happened yet.”

“Something happened in the past that should not have happened and I resent that. If that hadn’t happened I would be at peace now.”

Most people are constantly telling themselves stories of how they’ll be at peace at some point in the future once a certain event happens, or when they reach some goal they’ve set for themselves, or if they become this or that.

Sometimes the story is about how they’ll never achieve peace of mind or happiness because of something that happened in the past. Eckhart Tolle adds that people’s stories could all be entitled: “Why I Cannot Be at Peace Now”.

He goes on to say that in order to be happy we have to make peace with the present moment. Eckhart Tolle shares his observation that after two ducks get into a fight they separate and float off in opposite directions. Then they each flap their wings vigorously a few times to get rid of the surplus energy that built up during the fight. After flapping their wings they float on peacefully, as if nothing had happened.

However, if the duck had a human mind, it would probably tell itself a story such as the following:

“I can’t believe he just did that. Who does he think he is? The nerve . . . he has absolutely no consideration of others. He thinks he owns this pond. I’m sure he’s already plotting some new way to annoy me. He’s not getting away with it; I’ll show him.”

The lesson we can learn from the ducks is this: flap your wings. That is, let go of the stories you’re telling yourself and return to the only place of power: the present moment.

In addition, we need to become attentive to our thoughts and emotions. Ask yourself constantly: “Is there any negativity in me at this present moment?” Then watch out for thoughts that attempt to explain or justify this unhappiness but in reality cause it.

Once you become aware of a negative state within yourself you realize that you’re not those thoughts, emotions, or reactions. Instead, you’re the conscious presence that is witnessing those states. And at that moment—in which you create a disconnection between your thoughts and yourself–you can choose to simply change the thoughts and beliefs that are causing the background unhappiness in your life.

Choose Peace Over Drama

Eckhart Tolle also advises that we choose peace over drama. He explains that although we all want peace—that is, we all want to be happy–there is something within each of us that also wants drama and conflict. We have an argument with someone, we feel we’ve been somehow slighted, we’re not properly acknowledged, and so on, and our mind races to defend its position, attack, or blame someone else. He adds the following:

“Can you feel that there is something in you that is at war, something that feels threatened and wants to survive at all cost, that needs the drama in order to assert its identity as the victorious character within that theatrical production? Can you feel there is something in you that would rather be right than at peace?”

Of course, that something that would rather be right than at peace is your ego, and–once again–the way to lessen your ego’s grip over your thought process is to become aware of it. For Tolle the ego is the part of us that identifies with the voice in our head that “comments, speculates, judges, compares, complains, likes, dislikes, and so on.”

The voice may be reliving the past or rehearsing imagined future situations. It regards the past and the future as very important–what happened in the past tells it who it is, and in the future it will achieve some goal it’s pursuing–but gives little worth to the present.

By listening to the voice without judging it in any way you’ll realize that “there is the voice” and “here I am listening to it“.  It is then that you can override what the voice is saying and instead say to yourself: “I choose to be happy rather than insisting at any cost that I be right”.

Turn Your Work Into a Spiritual Practice by Releasing Your Ego

The subject of the “the flow state” and its relationship to happiness is one that I’ve touched on before in this blog.  In “A New Earth”, Eckhart Tolle makes reference to how releasing the ego while we work allows us to be fully present and become one with the task we are performing.

He explains that those who are exceptionally good at what they do are often completely or largely free of ego while performing their work. They’ve taken their attention off of themselves—their petty resentments, their need for recognition, their apprehension over how their work will be perceived by others, and so on–and placed it fully into the task they’re performing. They may not know it, but their work has become a spiritual practice: when they work they become one with what they’re doing.

When you achieve this state of flow you’re no longer worrying if your book will be accepted by your publisher or that someone else might get the credit for your ideas, and you’re no longer reliving some uncomfortable situation that happened to you that morning: you’re simply present with what you’re doing and firmly rooted in the moment.  That is, you’ve quieted your ego and are completely at peace.

Conclusion

Follow Eckhart Tolle’s advice in a “A New Earth” in order to lead a happier life: become aware of the stories you’re constantly telling yourself in the back of your mind of why you can’t be happy now; decide that being happy is more important to you than being right; and release your ego while you’re working so that you can become one with what you’re doing and–at least while you’re exercising your craft–you can forget your petty grievances and everyday concerns.

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photo credit: law_keven

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{ 32 comments }

Bamboo Forest - PunIntended April 13, 2009 at 6:19 pm

I really enjoyed this post. I’ve only read his original book, and haven’t yet read “A New Earth.”

I think much can be learned from Tolle’s teachings but I do part ways with him. For example, he essentially advocates the parting of one’s intellectual mind in favor of simply being present.

Being totally present can be a wonderful thing, but I love thinking with my mind too.

While Tolle seems to advocate that the mind is the problem, I see it another way. It’s not the mind that is the problem, it’s how the mind is being applied by the person with the mind that can spell the trouble.

So my philosophy is basically to channel one’s mind in the direction that will enhance one’s life the most. Not to dwell on the past or thoughts that cause discomfort.

But to, yes, use the mind for the benefit of your life.

Bamboo Forest – PunIntendeds last blog post..How to Make the Choices You Really Want to Make in Life

Mare April 13, 2009 at 6:29 pm

Hi Bamboo: I see what you mean; I agree that the problem isn’t with thinking per se, but with failing to be mindful of what you’re thinking about. If you leave the mind to it’s own devises without supervision it tends to do what Tolle describes: dwell on past hurts or postpone happiness until some future event takes place. But if you’re aware of what you’re thinking the mind can be an ally.

Writer Dad April 13, 2009 at 7:40 pm

I’ve never read either of his books, though I have been interested. The rough draft of my novel was referred to by an early reader as, “Tolle with a plot.” I find that anytime I worry about the what ifs, I can’t do as well managing all angles of the task. Worrying about piddling things that don’t make a bit of difference is no way to pull the best from inside us.

Writer Dads last blog post..Welcome to the Inkwell

Mare April 14, 2009 at 3:50 pm

Hi Sean: “Tolle with a plot”, that’s a great compliment :-) I agree that worrying about things you can do nothing about simply sucks away at your energy and serves absolutely no purpose.

Evelyn Lim April 13, 2009 at 9:30 pm

How coincidental!! I quoted about the background unhappiness from Echkart Tolle in my latest post. I read A New Earth one year ago and have just re-read it again. I’ve been observing my ego-self more closely since January, during meditation and sometimes during the day. It is interesting on the stories that it can come up with….LOL!!

Evelyn Lims last blog post..The Masquerade Play Of Life

Mare April 14, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Hi Evelyn: We do that a lot don’t we (write about the same or similar subjects at the same time ) :-) I’ve caught my ego coming up with some pretty outlandish stories as well :-)

Davina April 14, 2009 at 2:17 am

Hi Mare. I saw Eckhart at a workshop here in Vancouver a few years ago. I literally floated out of there on cloud nine. Two hours of listening to him speak was absolutely mesmerizing. It is important to be aware of background unhappiness. I also think it is important to be aware of being “attached” to “having the need” to feel happy in the effort to avoid what is really there.

Davinas last blog post..The Morning Muse — Photo Story

Mare April 14, 2009 at 3:46 pm

Hi Davina: I’ve never heard Tolle speak in person, but Deepak Chopra was here in Panama a few years back and I had that “floating out on cloud nine” experience you refer to in your comment :-) You also make a good point: the objective of being happy should not be used as a denial mechanism.

Rudolf April 14, 2009 at 3:47 am

I continuously enjoy your articles Mare. Thank you. :) There is some great simplicity in Tolle teachings. Last week I was quite ill, angry I have a delay on my projects, high temperatures not allowing me to do much so I at least listened to Tolle’s The Power of Now again. I prefer audiobook to book because it is narrated by Tolle himself and it bears so much more strength. Tolle made me realize that my sickness was there for a reason and that it is an excellent opportunity for me to practice some things the way I can not practice them usually. I practiced “surrender”, enjoyed that time alone, felt inner body and energy flow. Sickness transformed from major struggle into rather interesting experience, it put the pain in the background and I found more things about myself and “became alchemist” as he describes in The power of now. We always have a choice.

Mare April 14, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Hi Rudolf: I’m very glad that you enjoy my articles :-) That’s an interesting experience: you were able to go from struggling because you were ill and could not work on your projects, to feeling calm and at peace and using the time you were incapacitated to increase your inner growth. And all it took was a shift in perspective :-)

Arswino April 14, 2009 at 7:47 am

Hi Mare, I admit that it is not so easy to release our ego. However the part “decide that being happy is more important to you than being right” has given me a new perspective.
Thanks for the post. I love it. :) Stumbled.

Arswinos last blog post..Why Life Struggles are So Important?

Mare April 14, 2009 at 3:41 pm

Hi Arswino: I completely agree that releasing the ego is not easy. In fact, since your ego knows you so well it knows exactly what to say so that you think that it’s trying to help you, when all it’s doing is trying to make sure that you keep it around.

Tess The Bold Life April 14, 2009 at 8:41 am

Mare,
This is your best post! I love that man. When I saw him on Oprah my first thought was, “That man doesn’t have an ego.” I don’t know if that’s possible but that was my thought.

I love the duck analogy. I’m going to get the book on tape like Rudolph and listen to it because my book is torn tattered and underlined. I need to be reminded of all he has to say.
thanks for reminding us.

Tess The Bold Lifes last blog post..Magical Mondays Make Them 1/7 Of Your Life

Mare April 14, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Hi Tess: I read somewhere that “The Power of Now” started off with just 3,000 published copies. And from there it grew to a #1 New York Times best seller, that’s how powerful his message is.

Catherine Cantieri, Sorted April 14, 2009 at 9:17 am

I really liked this post. I think I get more information from reading Tolle than from listening to him (that soporific voice!). But this is really valid stuff, and pretty much universally applicable. Great post!

Catherine Cantieri, Sorteds last blog post..What a puppy can teach you about time management

Mare April 14, 2009 at 3:29 pm

Hi Catherine: I also get more from Tolle by reading what he writes instead of listening to him speak. He writes about subjects that could be complicated but he makes them easy to understand.

Vered - MomGrind April 14, 2009 at 12:06 pm

It took me a while to stop setting those silly future “Happiness goals.” I now know that all I need is to look at what I have now and realize how happy I already am.

Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..Patient Parenting: Five Tried And Tested Tips

Mare April 14, 2009 at 3:26 pm

Hi Vered: I think our culture is largely geared toward always looking ahead to the next thing we can “get”, “do” or “achieve”. I’m all for achievement, but we have to learn to be happy in the moment while we move toward our goals.

cwcomment April 14, 2009 at 1:45 pm

Another great tip is to use the power of small- appreciate the little things. Keep a daily list of 5 positives/accomplishments. Take a few moments out for yoruself at the end of your day. It’s helpful to look back when you’re having a down and realize all the things you have to enjoy.

There’s a great book coming out this month called The Power of Small that has some more really helpful tips that I’ve found very useful.

Mare April 14, 2009 at 3:25 pm

Hi CW: I love the tip of focusing on small things you can be grateful for. A lot of people wait for the “big” things in life to be grateful (getting married, graduating, having a child, getting the promotion, etc.) but life is really made up of countless small moments.

Positively Present April 14, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Love, love, love this post — of course, because it relates so well to what I’m focusing on in my life: being positive and living in the present moment. The Power of Now is a great book and anyone who hasn’t read it should definitely check it out.

http://positivelypresent.typepad.com

Positively Presents last blog post..capturing the calm of catharsis

Mare April 14, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Hi Positively Present: Both “The Power of Now” and “A New Earth” are excellent books with a very important message for everyone. I feel calmer after I sit down and just read a few pages from these books.

Dawn April 14, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Thank you for the reminder…Right message right time!!

Dawn

Mare April 14, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Hi Dawn: These are things we know but need to be constantly reminded of :-)

Karl Staib - Work Happy Now April 14, 2009 at 10:06 pm

I’ve been thinking about writing a post about spirituality in the workplace. When we bring the joy from within out into the world the people that are surrounded by us happier.

It takes a lot of time to cultivate this inner peace. I feel like I’ve made great strides, but every time I feel like I’m closer I’m really that much farther.

Karl Staib – Work Happy Nows last blog post..Best Places to Work – Austin Title Company

Mare April 15, 2009 at 2:47 pm

Hi Karl: I think it would be great to work in a place filled with spiritually-minded people. And yes, cultivating inner peace is something we need to work on constantly.

Sonia Gallagher April 14, 2009 at 11:42 pm

This is a great post. I think that Tolle’s main teaching is not necessarily to ignore thoughts but to accept thoughts and life as it happens. By gaining acceptance, we become less judgmental. We also loose the attachment that we generally have to material objects, people, and even lifestyle. Sometimes we are very scared of change or facing uncontrollable events so we feel attached to our past and present lives. The more accepting we are, the more happy we become.

Mare April 15, 2009 at 2:45 pm

Hi Sonia: Acceptance is one of the keys to happiness. It doesn’t mean that we don’t care what happens, but there’s no use struggling against things as they are because it’s a struggle you can’t possibly win. All you can do is accept things as they are and work toward achieving goals you consider worthy, while enjoying the present moment.

Stacey / Create a Balance April 15, 2009 at 10:12 pm

Hi Marelisa, It is a calming to be back onto your stomping ground. I have been offline for a while and love finding your always moving posts welcoming me back to the blogosphere.

I usually live with a substantial about of peace. I tell myself that statistically everything is going to be fine. This usually calms me down. But I have been house searching for the past 3+ months and my drama is growing out of control. I want to find a simple house in a friendly neighbor. I feel urgency b/c my new house will determine where my son will go to kindergarten in the fall. It’s filling my ego with anxiety. This post is reminding me to let it go and to enter my house searching quest in a state of peace. Thank you for the timely post.

Stacey / Create a Balances last blog post..Authentic Happiness Series – Part Three (Community)

Mare April 16, 2009 at 3:50 pm

Hi Stacey: House hunting is one of those things that can be both exciting and stressful. I’m sure there’s a beautiful house out there just waiting for your family to show up :-)

Robin April 17, 2009 at 7:42 am

This is such good stuff Mare – I love the way you/Tolle have described how we can operate with our attention in the present moment.

Robins last blog post..Tomato Seeds And Delicious Fruit

Mare April 17, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Hi Robin: No matter how many times you relive something that happened in the past in your mind, you can’t change it. And no matter how much you plan for the future, in the end, the results are not really within your control. So all you can do is live in the now.

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