“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” – Dr. Seuss
Although the holidays are lauded as being the most wonderful time of the year, for many people this season brings with it feelings of sadness and anxiety. Whatever you may be celebrating in the next few weeks–Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, New Years’ Eve, and so on—being happy this holiday season is a choice you can make, and there are steps you can take to help you bring more joy to your holidays. You’ll find five of these steps below.
Alter Your Image of the “Ideal Christmas”
If we create a picture in our minds of what the “ideal Christmas” looks like—probably based on idealized memories of our childhood Christmases–and we can’t reproduce it, we’re creating dissatisfaction with the present moment. Also, a lot of people feel that the holiday season has to be perfect; and, of course, perfection is unattainable. Forget the images you have in your head of a “Norman Rockwell Christmas” and be honest with yourself about what you can realistically achieve during the holiday season.
Be kind to yourself and remember to set achievable goals. For example: don’t commit to cooking a seven-course Christmas dinner for fourteen people all by yourself; don’t accept every holiday party invitation that you receive when you’d rather spend some alone time with your spouse; and don’t feel that you have to get a present for your cousin three times removed whom you haven’t seen in the past five years. You need to pace yourself, stick to your budget, and get enough rest.
Focus on What’s Good This Holiday Season
Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar teaches a course at Harvard University on “Positive Psychology” which, at its height, was the university’s most popular offering. One of the happiness tips he offers is to keep in mind that being happy is mostly dependent on our interpretation of the events going on around us.
In addition, Daniel Gilbert, author of “Stumbling on Happiness”
Count Your Blessings
Gratitude shifts your focus from what your life lacks to the abundance that is already present. In addition, psychological research has shown that giving thanks makes people happier and more resilient, it strengthens relationships, it improves health, and it reduces stress. Giving thanks also helps you to put things in perspective and to notice things that you’ve been taking for granted.
Create a list of everything that you can think of that you’re grateful for. You can also convey your appreciation to people whom you’ve never properly thanked, or write a heartfelt letter to someone who means a lot to you, and send it to them. Even if you might not be getting everything that you scribbled on your letter to Santa this year, begin to notice all of the simple pleasures and little things that are already present in your life.
Give to Others
There’s a quote by James M. Barrie that states: “Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” By giving to others you take the focus off of yourself and you add a lot more meaning to your holiday season.
There are many ways you can help others during the holidays, such as gathering toys your kids no longer play with and donating them to children who would not otherwise have toys. You can also put together a basket filled with all the traditional staples of a Christmas dinner and take it to a family that’s going through a rough patch. Or simply help an elderly neighbor put up her Christmas lights.
Participate in Christmas Activities that You Truly Enjoy
As I pointed out in my post “Five Joyous Tips for Being Happy”, creating a list of things that you enjoy doing and that give you a sense of accomplishment can help you raise your energy level even when you’re down. So create a list of twenty things you love about Christmas.
It can include watching your favorite Holiday movies, such as “Miracle on 34th Street”, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, “A Christmas Story”, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, and so on.
Also include listening to your favorite Christmas Carols on your list: “Jingle Bells”, “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”, “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas”, “Oh Tannenbaum”, and “Deck the Halls”. List some of the foods you love to eat this time of year, as well as festive activities you enjoy, which can include decorating the Christmas tree, sitting in the dark with a cup of eggnog just enjoying the Christmas lights, and baking gingerbread cookies.
Once again, it’s not enough to create the list; you actually have to carry out the items on your list, even if you don’t quite feel up to it. If you make yourself participate in some of the Christmas activities you’ve enjoyed in the past, there’s a good chance that you’ll enjoy them again, which will give you your energy back.
Conclusion
By giving yourself permission to have a less-than-perfect holiday season, creating new traditions instead of focusing on what’s missing this holiday season, counting your blessings, volunteering and giving to others, and making sure that you participate in the holiday activities that you truly enjoy, you can beat the holiday blues. Whatever holiday you may be celebrating this season, may it be merry and bright.
photo credit: Grzegorz ?obi?ski
Related Posts:
- 28 Glorious Christmas Traditions
- “Be Happy Now – Set Goals Without Postponing Joy”
- “Happiness Extravaganza: Tips, Tidbits, and Tools”
- “How to be Happy”
- “Fun, Whimsical Gift Ideas for Creative People”
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What a fabulous post! Thanks for this!
We are trimming everything back this year, expenses, food, decorations. We we actually considering putting a photo of a Christmas tree on the TV instead of putting all my trees up (I have 3 of them I usually put up) but after the laugh, I decided to put one modest tree up. I still haven’t done it though and I’m ok with it. This year, we also having a pot of homemade chili instead of the big meal. We’d rather spend the time enjoying each other than being a slave to tradition.
This year, my family is focusing on sharing experiences more than sharing gifts. It is personal, priceless, and stress-free.
Stacey / Create a Balances last blog post..What’s Stopping You?
These are great tips Marelisa. I love the holiday season but some years it can be difficult to get through, like when we’ve lost a loved one during the year. Oh, and I just adore the Grinch and his creator, the great Dr. Suess.
Melissa Donovans last blog post..Inside the Writing Community
We celebrate Christmas too although not in a religious, going to church way. We visit my husband’s family on X-Mas day and mine on the day after. And usually everyone helps in the catering bringing one dish, or dessert, or wine etc and helping with the preparations. The kids are playing, the adults talking. We do not watch television or listen to Christmas carols. It’s just all about being together and enjoying the present moment.
Have a great Christmas.
Mimi
Mindful MImis last blog post..10 ideas, 10 convictions – part 2
These are great ideas. We have made up new family traditions. After all Christmas is for the kids and the adults who love them.
Elaine B.s last blog post..Keepin` it Green-8 Ways to Reduce Your Light Bill
Hi Mark: You’re welcome, glad you enjoyed it
Hi Laurie: I’ve seen some people who have a fireplace DVD playing on their TV for the Holidays
I have one tree and I haven’t decorated it yet. I’m thinking today is the day.
Hi Stacey: Sharing experiences for Christmas sounds like a great idea
Hi Melissa: I watch “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” every year, along with the other movies I mentioned in this post. I love Christmas movies. Oh, and “The Santa Clause” with Tim Allen, I forgot to add that one.
Hi Mimi: It’s a great idea to have everyone contribute a dish instead of having one person do all of the cooking. Everyone is more relaxed and you also get more variety. You have a great Christmas as well
Hi Elaine: Thank you. I love going over to my sister’s house for Christmas and watching her little boys open their presents
Hi Mare,
I’m all for less stress and more “happiness” during the holiday season. Sometimes it just seems so busy, traveling from one family gathering to the next. A couple of years ago, we decided that Christmas Day would be a day we spent together as just our family. No rushing off to a parents house. And it has been wonderful. Christmas morning is a relaxing time now. Sometimes, we’ll leave for a visit in the afternoon, and sometimes we won’t. The morning, at least, and usually more, has become very special family time. I hope your Christmas is wonderful and special in every way, Mare!
Lances last blog post..Bounce!
Just be mindful. Don’t equate how much you spend with how much you love the recipient of your gift. That kind of thinking is faulty and dangerous. I was lucky enough to land a guest post with Santa today. He says something similar in his Santa like way.
Writer Dads last blog post..Bang!
Here’s my secret to keeping my spirits during the holiday season, I listen to Christmas songs. I start listening around mid-November and I continue until New Years Day. Then I focus on the best gift I can give my wife and kids.
Chriss last blog post..I Shall Return
“Gratitude shifts your focus from what your life lacks to the abundance that is already present.”
– And that’s a great “present” to have and to share.
SpaceAgeSage — Loris last blog post..Your kind of neighborhood … or not?
and it really is all the same. whatever holiday we celebrate.
although many days around this time of year Im THANKFUL hanukkah feels like a more mellow celebration…less pressure.
could just be my perception?
MizFits last blog post..If I had a million dollars. I’d snag a nonmotorized treadmill and…
Thanks, Marelisa, I needed this.
As I went through it, I realized I do a lot of this already. I’ve just been sticking my head on backwards for the last few days and haven’t been seeing the good stuff right in front of me.
Printing and keeping this one!
Regards,
Kelly
Kellys last blog post..Happy Holidays?
Our expectations are a pain in the butt. This Christmas has to compete with our rosy colored glasses of all our past Christmases – it just can’t compete.
It’s funny that you write about this today. My wife and I just talked about this concept a few days ago.
After my Christmas is over I always tell me wife – it was the best Christmas ever. I do this with a lot of our walks, meals, and night’s sleep. I don’t always repeat that it was the “best walk ever,” that would be annoying. I do say it every now and again to make a point. The only thing that really matters is how much we are enjoying the present moment.
Karl Staib – Your Work Happiness Matterss last blog post..Day 16 of 30 – No Complaining
Hi Marelisa. You inspire hope! You’re a light on my Christmas tree. Thanks for sharing this wonderful list. Happy holidays to you.
Davinas last blog post..A Positively Dysfunctional Christmas
Since I have the biggest digital music library in my family, I’ve been drafted to be the Secretary of Music for my family’s Christmas
It’s been quite fun. In all honesty, there’s so much busy stuff I’ve been doing that Christmas seems so far away, but listening to Christmas music really has gotten me into the spirits. Add to the “give to others” factor you mentioned, trying to put together a music list for others to enjoy makes it that much more enjoyable.
Have a Merry Christmas, Mare!!
Al at 7Ps last blog post..533,000 Is Too Much
Hi Lance: It’s great that you’ve carved out alone-family time on Christmas day
While I was growing up we always lived abroad (in countries other than Panama), so although my parents were invited to a lot of holiday parties, Christmas day was just for the five of us (no relatives living nearby asking us to drop by) 
Hi Sean: I read the guest post by Santa over at your blog. Maybe next year he’ll stop by my blog too
Hi Chris: I love Christmas songs too, although the only one I know from beginning to end is “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer”.
Hi Lori: The “I want more and more mentality” is the surest way to a lousy holiday
Hi MizFit: I think that because there’s more people who celebrate Christmas it’s been commercialized to the max., which makes it more high pressure.
Hi Kelly: I’m glad you found the post helpful, thank you for printing it out
Hi Karl: There’s such a temptation to go out and get the glossy magazines and aim for the picture on the cover. One year I tried to put together a gingerbread house. Boy was that ever a bad idea.
I always put together a beautiful Christmas tree and order stuff I like from a restaurant that cooks delicious turkey, ham, and tamales. Then I get some eggnog and turrón, and I’m good to go.
Hi Davina: Thank you, I’m so glad you found the post inspiring, happy holidays to you too
Hi Al: I have tons of Christmas movies on DVD and everyone is always borrowing them. Then I have to chase them down in order to get my movies back. There’s a couple that are still MIA.
Hi Mare – I think “creating new traditions instead” is a really great approach. Christmas is a stressful time for me, because of various personalities in our family (I don’t think they read your blog).
Christmas traditions are strange over here, as it is summer! (I suppose it is the same for you, being in Panama) I hope you have a great one, Mare!
Robins last blog post..What If? The Movie – Clip 2
A great post! I think what helps me is to focus less on the ‘shoulds’ and more on the inner child’s want-tos. When I can experience Christmas fully with all five senses, it will be one I can remember! G.
Grace Kleppins last blog post..150 ways to be mindful in the next 24 hours
A good post! Somehow this financial snafu is bringing us back to basics – not a bad thing, really!
Hi Mare – this is great advice. I’m not a great lover of Christmas and I guess we do feel under pressure to do particular things. Also – I hate shopping but my husband’s family seems to buy presents for everyone – even adult nephew’s and nieces, which I think is ridiculous.
I am planning to make presents this year. My parents, for the first time ever, have decided to give us all money, instead of presents. They are going to Spain for Christmas and don’t want gifts. So, I am making them a lifebook and including some of your tips for doing things like making a bucket list and a life menu.
Thanks for all the good advice for the season and for doing things that will maximize our happiness. Your advice on creating new traditions is something I’ve had to do because I had to “divorce” my family years ago. I’ve had to create a new family as well as new trad9tions, but they feel more natural to me than the old ones.
After a lot of thought, I realized that my beliefs probably fit better with Buddhism than Christianity, although I do sometimes enjoy the cultural aspects of the holiday season. Sometimes I don’t. After 51 years (starting when I was age 10, let’s say) of the same carols over and over and over again, I’m pretty sick of them. So I play whatever music I want, non-traditional carols, other spiritual music, jazz or rock and roll.
Dots last blog post..How to Get Published
i don’t bother with christmas, but these are good suggestions for always, just in life. enlisting help is a good one when cooking for others. most times, i LOVE to do everything myself, but asking and accepting a little help is good. i like serving my guest and not having them work though when they come over. i feel like i’m there to entertain them.
Naturals last blog post..You’re So Vain You Probably Think This Post Is About You
I get too excited at Christmas…because it encompasses what I do well which is giving (I have no problem sticking to a budget) and when I can give something to someone that makes their lives better – I am in full delight. All the rest of the year I was reprimanded for giving too much…never at Christmas or Hanukkah. And since that is one of my best talents in the world it is nice to express it uninhibited.
I love the magic parts of this season, that the candles stayed lit for the whole week and did not run out of oil, that elves might be out and about and I love the different depths of seasonal music…and the beauty that is inspired in musicians this time of the year…
I don’t seem to take on the “burdens” or stress projects – I can just release them and they get done – I love everyone in the kitchen and teasing the cinnamon roll maker out of her perfection expectations…the blackberry pie, and how we remember the picking of the fruit in the midst of summer and the children’s creative prayers at we light the Advent Candles…The Peace Dancing on the eve that is being done around the world on the same night…
My blessings just overflow
and what someone says “oh you shouldn’t have” I know they don’t mean it and I have created a moment of delight and joy….
I just focus on my talent and giving to others…
Nice piece and I hope others can find blessings and happiness and joy in this season…
Patricias last blog post..Anatomy of a Fat Cell
Hi Robin: Christmas here doesn’t look like the pictures on magazines from the US because it’s hot here, but we do all the other things they do in the US (eat turkey, drink eggnog, have Christmas trees, and so on). I just saw chestnuts being sold in the supermarket, but they cost about $7.50 for a few chestnuts. I think I’ll pass on the chestnuts
Hi Grace: You’re absolutely right, Christmas is the ideal time to let our inner child out
Hi Pamela: In a way the financial situation is making us reevaluate a lot of things. Lots of people are making presents this year instead of buying, and are concentrating on traditions such as watching Christmas movies together instead of going out shopping for more stuff.
Hi Cath: A life book sounds like a great idea. Actually, I told my parents I want money this Christmas so I can think carefully of what I want instead of having them get me a watch or purse I won’t use.
Hi Dot: Creating your own traditions is certainly allowed
Although I have to disagree with you on the Christmas carols, I love Christmas carols.
Hi Natural: I’m usually not one to ask for help either, but I’m working on that because sometimes we all need a little help.
Hi Patricia: It’s obvious from your comment that you love Christmas, I do too
And everything that you described sounds heavenly.
I could have done with this post 6 years ago Mares. I used to be all about the perfect Christmas and saying “yes” to every invitation and spending days hunting for the perfect gifts, and then inevitable being upset and disappointed when I got tired from too much socializing, when people didn’t appreciate the “efforts” I went to, and when some family squabble made Christmas day painful.
Now I just focus on giving my son as much magic at Christmas as I can and embracing the spirit of Christmas rather than some commercial ideal. This means spending quality time, eating good food and drinking wine and enjoying the sunshine with my extended family. Part of that is also accepting my family for who they are and going to each event with a loving heart and a determination to let things slide.
But the best thing about Christmas now is Bunny. We are loving setting up our own family traditions, and his enthusiasm and awe of Christmas and Santa is so adorable it makes me tear up. I am so grateful to be able to share these magical Christmas years with him.
If I don’t catch you before, have a wonderful Christmas and a safe and happy New Year!
Kelly xx
Hi Kelly: It’s great that you concentrate on making sure that Bunny has a great Christmas. My sister can’t leave any presents under the tree because her one and a half year-old and her four year old open them
Also, most of the tree decorations are near the bottom of the tree because that’s where the kids put them. I just think that’s so funny. Have a fabulous Christmas Kelly.
Hi Marelisa,
My name is Hans and I’m from Sydney, Australia. I’m new here and also new to blogging.
I like this post. You have shared great ideas here.
To me, this time around I’ll make sure I’ll do something crazy…not a bad crazy…BUT good crazy…still thinking on it…as long as I can reach my ultimate happiness!
Hans Haneefs last blog post..5 Amazing Natural Ways For A Face Lifting
Hi Marelisa – This is a beautiful post. The holiday season is about counting our blessings and focusing on what’s good. Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I love the lights, the music, the tree, the baking and how people’s hearts soften and they reach out to those less fortunate. I wish it could be like that all year round.
Have a Very Merry Christmas Marelisa, and a joyous and prosperous New Year.
Barbara Swafford – Bs last blog post..Twitter – Social Media’s Hidden Gem
HI Hans: Welcome! And doing something good crazy sounds like a good idea
Hi Barbara: Christmas is my favorite time of the year too! Merry Christmas and happy New Year
Good advice for bringing out the most in one’s holidays.
You’re right, perfection is not attainable. But, perhaps, something can be perfectly imperfect.
Bamboo Forest – PunIntendeds last blog post..7 Things People Say that Sound Like One Thing – yet Say Quite Another
This beautiful post inspires gratitude and makes me agree that these are excellent tips not just for the holidays but for all year long. Merry Christmas.
Tom Volkar / Delightful Works last blog post..Do It Your Way
Hi Mare – I know this is totally off topic but I’m trying to order the Silva Life System. I can’t find the Paypal button and I don’t have one of the cards listed. When I got to the FAQ section, it says you can order with Paypal but I can’t find the link to order anywhere. Do you have any idea where it is please? Thanks.
Cath Lawsons last blog post..Time Is Running Out
This year I’ve come to notice that there will be fewer gives going around (I don’t mind. It’s just that I feel bad for the kids ya know). But everyone in the family talked about it (and it’s one heck of a big family)…instead of getting each other all gifts, we’re going to focus on getting gifts for the kids first!
For me, I’m happy with spending time with family, enjoying their company and/or an evening out. Spending time with them, and making sure the kids are happy, makes me happy.
Ricardo Buenos last blog post..[Poll] Are Blogs Credible?
Nice post. For me, the small things count, I am grateful for what I have. Others are not so well off over Christmas so I like to contribute something (any thing really) that may help.
I think that giving yourself permission to have a less-than-perfect holiday season will help you stay positive, no worries about having everything go exactly the way you picture, focus on just the meaningful things.
Tonys last blog post..Choosing Shorts for Mixed Martial Arts
keep your good in mind this is ideal to keep your spirit
Harun Aziss last blog post..how to build a natural traffic for visiting your blog