“ When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them they didn’t understand life.” — Anonymous
Make a List of 20 Things You Like to Do, And Then Do Them
In a video I found on YouTube the lecturer explains that if you don’t have a list of twenty things you like to do, then you don’t have a menu for being able to enjoy life. The list needs to include things that are fun, as well as things that give you a sense of accomplishment. Then every day you have to do some of the things that are on your list.
If your energy is low you might not feel like doing the items on your list. That is, your strategy might be to wait until your energy level is back up. However, you have to do the items on your list whether you feel like it or not. If you make yourself do it, if it’s something that you’ve enjoyed in the past, or something that has given you a sense of accomplishment in the past, there’s a good chance that you’ll enjoy it again, which will give you your energy back. So every day by intentionally doing things you enjoy– even if it’s petting your dog or drinking a cup of coffee–what you’re doing is building up your energy resources.
Happy People Don’t Watch a Lot of Television
An article published in the New York Times in November of 2008 explains that happy people don’t spend a lot of time watching television. The study was trying to identify what activities happy people engage in and they discovered an inverse relationship between hours of television watched and happiness. Even though researchers could not tell whether unhappy people watch more television or whether being glued to the TV set is what makes people unhappy, it’s safe to conclude that watching television is not conducive to happiness.
Pleasant Emotions: Elevation and Other Self-Transcending Emotions
I’ve written about positive psychology on this blog before: while psychology has long focused on what goes wrong, in the past decade there has been an explosion of interest in “positive psychology”—what makes us feel good and why. Now there is a word to describe a feeling that has always existed but has just moved out of the realm of philosophy and religion and been recognized as a distinct emotional state. It’s “elevation”, a term coined by University of Virginia psychologist Jonathan Haidt. (Source)
Elevation is the physical sensation that comes from witnessing goodness in others. It evokes in us a desire to become a better person, or to lead a better life. UC Berkeley psychologist Dacher Keltner is a pioneer in the study of elevation and he explains that it’s characterized by a warm, open, pleasant feeling, “liquid warmth in the chest and a lump in the throat.”
The emotion of elevation can be triggered by listening to great oratory, like Martin Luther King’s speech “I Have a Dream”; many people felt elevation on November 4th when they listened to Barack Obama’s victory speech. It can also be triggered by watching a stranger helping another stranger.
In Haidt’s article “Elevation and the Positive Psychology of Morality” he includes an anecdote from Thomas Jefferson’s life. In 1771 Jefferson’s friend Robert Skipwith wrote to him asking for advice on what books to buy for his library. Jefferson sent back a long list of titles in history, philosophy, and natural science. He also included some works of fiction and he justified this advice by pointing to the beneficial emotional effects of great fiction:
“[E]very thing is useful which contributes to fix us in the principles and practice of virtue. When any … act of charity or of gratitude, for instance, is presented either to our sight or imagination, we are deeply impressed with its beauty and feel a strong desire in ourselves of doing charitable and grateful acts also . . .
[I ask whether] the fidelity of Nelson, and generosity of Blandford in Marmontel do not dilate [the reader's] breast, and elevate his sentiments as much as any similar incident which real history can furnish? Does he not in fact feel himself a better man while reading them, and privately covenant to copy the fair example?”
Elevation is part of the family of self-transcending emotions. Other self-transcending emotions include:
- Awe: That sense of vastness of the universe that is often invoked by nature, art or music.
- Admiration: That goose-bump-making thrill that comes from seeing exceptional skill in action.
- Gratitude: That feeling of well-being that comes from the sense that we live in a world of bounty and generosity.
Keep the Secular Sabbath
Last Fall Mark Bittman, food columnist for “The New York Times”, began a self-imposed Saturday day of rest with much of the same no-work, no-electronics restrictions as the Jewish Sabbath. He was in desperate need of a day of real rest from technology, including his computer and the internet, the TV, and his cellphone. Since then the Secular Sabbath has been gaining traction among time-starved people who have begun to unplug one day a week. (Source)
Surround Yourself with Happy People
New research shows that happiness is indeed contagious. Professors Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler from the University of California in San Diego have carried out research on the impact of social networks on happiness. In a study published today in the British Medical Journal they found that happiness really is contagious, and that it doesn’t really matter how many friends you have, but how happy they are and how close to you they live.
In addition, the researchers found that the merriment of one person can ripple out and cause happiness in people up to three degrees away: that is, if you’re happy, you increase the chance of joy in your close friend by 25%; a friend of that friend enjoys a 10% increased chance. And that friend’s friend has a 5.6% higher chance. So your level of happiness can affect the level of happiness of people you don’t even know. Here are several news sites that reported on this study:
- How Happiness Can Be Catching
- Laugh and the World Laughs With You: How Happiness Spreads
- Strangers May Cheer You Up
- Your Happiness Could Be Contagious
photo credit: notsogoodphotography -
Related Posts:
- “Be Happy Now – Set Goals Without Postponing Joy”
- “Happiness Extravaganza: Tips, Tidbits, and Tools”
- “How to be Happy”
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