40 Tips for Getting Along With Your Significant Other

by Marelisa · View Comments

getting along with your significant other 1. Remember that one put-down can erase hours of kindness you give to your partner. Follow James Brolin’s advice: “Treat each other like eggs.”

2. It’s OK to disagree: if two people always agree, one of them isn’t necessary.

3. Compliment your partner often.

4. Develop good listening skills.

5. Keep in mind that we’re all trying to accomplish the same objectives in a relationship: acceptance, support, and affection.

6. Learn to handle conflict constructively.

7. Never say: “I told you so.”

8. Don’t take each other for granted.

9. Serve her breakfast in bed; include a long-stemmed red rose.

10. Have a sense of humor.

11. Be flexible.

12. Understand the importance of small touches and caresses.

13. Massage their feet; and give them a back rub.

14. Learn to tango.

15. Never betray their confidence.

16. Plan a lunch date.

17. Create a scrap book of your first year together.

18. Plan little surprises.

19. Keep a lock of his hair in a heart-shaped locket.

20. Flirt with each other.

21. Share the household chores.

22. Ride a bicycle built for two.

23. Never forget a single anniversary. Create a meaningful anniversary ritual.

24. Watch out for each other’s best interests.

25. Take a horse-drawn carriage ride.

26. Admit it when you’re wrong.

27. Befriend his/her friends.

28. Write each other love letters.

29. Follow William James’ advice: “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”

30. Make romance a habit.

31. Don’t expect perfection.

32. Share your dreams with each other.

33. Be best friends as well as lovers.

34. Hold hands.

35. Don’t interrupt each other.

36. Make lots of eye contact.

37. Make a list for them: 101 reasons why I love you.

38. Call just to say “I love you”.

39. Make your partner feel special.

40. Promise each other to grow old together. Keep your promise.

(“Totally in Love”; courtesy of e3ashig)

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Kim

Nice,simple and practical,I must admit I judging by some of the responses here some of these people very much need these ideas and a whooole lot more.
Robert you must leave these ideas here becuase you don't know the auhtors credentials?
So having a piece of paper with letters on its makes you "credentialed"

Umm.... your president has never run a business and and he's in charge of a multi trillion dollar economy(and he's going to bankrupt your country!)

Man! if you haven't heard of Bruce lee then here's a quote from him.
"absorb what is useful and leave the rest behind"
There is a LOT of food for thought here(only for the creative mind tho!)

uwak

thanks for great listing.....useful

francisonline

yes! you're on the right path; which means i'm on theright path too, because i am you and you are me, do you see? isn't it beautiful?

Mango

Awww... That was really sweet! =D I Stumbled it. ^.^

Johnser

Pretty interesting ideas.
Thanks a mill.

www.plainsight.info

Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome

I'd heard up to 2.5 years, but this article: http://www.rsc.org/chemistryworld/Issues/2006/F... says that the chemical romance can wear off between 12 and 24 months.

Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..Picking a Goal and Pursuing It: Harrison McLeod Interview

Mare

@Alek: So, the pheromone addiction lasts 2.5 years? Good to know. Maybe people in a relationship need mini-vacations from each other to reignite the pheromone-effect :-)

Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome

Beautiful list Marelisa! I was just talking with some friends who have hit the 2.5-year-end-of-the-pheromone addiction and this list will be a great resource to take them over the hump. ;)

Cheers,
Alex

Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..Picking a Goal and Pursuing It: Harrison McLeod Interview

Mare

Hi Leanne: That is nice :-)

Leanne Magraith | Forever Chan

Great list Mare
I have a photo of my partner John as my "home page" on my mobile phone and John has one of me. So each time we make or receive a call on our mobile phones we get a reminder - nice!

Leanne Magraith | Forever Changes last blog post..Positive Thinking vs Positive Focusing

Mare

Hi Glee Girl: I actually think that quote applies to life overall :-)

Glee Girl

I don't have a significant other at the moment...but great list all the same!

I particularly like the William James quote "The art of wisdom is knowing what to overlook." That definitely would have made a differencein my last relationship! Thank you.

Glee Girls last blog post..The fairytale building...and how to get rich

Mare

Hi Ann: I'm so glad someone else doesn't think it's weird! I actually saw a tooth made out of felt with a smiley face on it the other day on a craft blog so that parents could keep their children's teeth and I thought it was cute.

Vintage Mommy

I don't think #19 is weird. Now that vintage girl's teeth are falling out, I'm saving them - along with my own wisdom teeth. Now THAT's weird! :-)
Ann

Vintage Mommys last blog post..Just the Facts: About Vintage Mommy

Mare

Hi Evelyn, have fun on your movie date! You have a great weekend too.

Hi Kelly: Intuitively you'd think a kid would bring two people closer together, but I see what you mean about the child taking up so much of the parents' time and energy that they don't devote much time and energy to each other. Anything that you don't give your energy to fades.

Hi Barbara: I think part of maturity is just realizing that everyone sees things differently, and while there are some areas in which you can convince the other person to your viewpoint, or in which you can be convinced to theirs, there are some things on which you simply won't agree. And that's fine.

Hi Cath: I couldn't be around someone who was always saying "I told you so" either :-)

Hi Natural: Exactly, even if you only find one point out of forty that you think you want to apply, that's fine. I didn't include forty points so that people would follow them all, I put in forty of them to increase the chances that people would find at least one helpful thing here.

Natural

can you fix my errors. lol :)

Naturals last blog post..A Million Little Pieces

Natural

Marelisa, I thought this list was great. Sometimes we forget the little things in a relationship because we have been with that person so long that we get comfortable. Reminders are important and no we don't have to do everything on the list, but I assume the list was meant to be looked at and the reader could pick out what applies and what will work for their relationship.

I have a friend that every time I send her an article that I find interesting, maybe she could use, maybe not and simply just sharing, she will cut it down and say well it doesn't apply to my family so I'm not doing it, or it doesn't apply with an attitude. I never said anything HAD to be done...I get information that doesn't apply to me, so you know what, I don't use it. Thank you for the information, maybe I know someone else who can...I don't get all bent out of shape about it...I don't write the person back and tell them what's wrong with the information or how it doesn't apply to me....I delete it, ignore it, or say thank you.

This is a great maintenance list for ME. It works for me, not every suggestion, but I didn't think you thought every suggestion would apply. It's a buffet post, take what you need, leave what you don't.

Cath Lawson

Hi Mare - These are great tips. I couldn't live with someone who kept saying I told you so. My parents do it - it's beyond irritating.

Barbara Swafford

Hi Marelisa,

This would make another great poster. :)

My husband and I agree to disagree. We respect each others opinions and often see a topic from a different angle.

I also love #40 "Promise each other to grow old together. Keep your promise." This one reminds me of the vows we took when we got married.

Barbara Swaffords last blog post..Priorities - Signatures - Open Mic

Kelly@SHE-POWER

Great list Mare. Post kids, especially in the early years, I think flirting, touching, sharing kisses and cuddles, and holding hands and really showing an interest in your partner become vitally important. I already have a few friends whose marriages are over, or on the rocks because they just couldn't survive the first few years of parenthood.

The kids take up so much energy and demand so much of the parents, especially mom, that couple time, individual needs and romance can easily go out the window. It takes work, emotional maturity and commitment to make a relationship work once family responsibilities take over. And you've got to remember to make time for fun. It's a juggling act, but worth it if you can figure it out.

Kelly

Evelyn Lim

Thanks for the many ideas to bring more romance into a relationship! I'm just about to date my husband for a movie.

Have an awesome weekend,
Evelyn

Evelyn Lims last blog post..Attract Our Travel Dreams

Mare

Hi Joel: Yes, befriend them but make sure you don't get too friendly :-)

Joel Falconer

You could probably tell Nick lives in LA without the tagline, I hear everyone (male and female) is a little out of touch with reality there ;).

Nice work, great list. Although 27 has been known to blow up in some couple's faces ;).

Mare

@Chris: I'll go along with that :-)

Chris

Question: What happens when your significant other doesn't admit that she is wrong?

Answer: Accept it and love her anyway.

Mare

@Mason: Yes, it was a typo, I've corrected it, thank you. But you're right, you should complement and compliment each other ;-)

Mare

@Ian: "even when we disagree we do so while holding hands" I really like that phrase. Thanks for stopping by Ian :-)

@Robert: Hi Robert, this list is based on research on books written by Gregory J.P. Godeck, Clifford Notarious Ph.D., Howard Markman, Ph.D., and Barbara de Angelis, Ph.D.

Mare

@Nick: Well, what I can say, not all women are like the one you describe in your comment. And I just meant to follow James Brolin's advice when it comes to treating each other like eggs, I'm not familiar with anything else he's done or said.

@Jim: A lot of people think that number 19 is weird (I deleted a comment indicating that I'm crazy for suggesting this, and a few people have said on stumble that it's psycho). I think it's romantic, but to each his own. They're not listed in order of importance, and I agree that number 4 is really important :-)

Mare

@Lance: I read on your blog how you took her skydiving as well, that's really awesome.

@Stacey: Thanks for printing it :-) Have fun on your date.

@MizFit: Love is definitely a verb.

@Hunter: I think a lot of people freak out and think that they're not getting along with their significant other just because they're disagree on some things. However, the key to handling disagreements is to learn good conflict resolution skills, not to force yourself to agree with everything the other says.

@Vered: Agree completely :-)

@Brandi: Welcome Brandi, I'm glad you enjoyed the post :-)

@Writer Dad: Seriously, you're going to take tango lessons? I'd love to hear how that goes :-)

Mason

I think it's quite funny that you said "complement" each other - I think you meant "compliment", but I suppose the goal of any good relationship is to do both, haha

Robert

Photoshopped! lol, jk

Well, these may be great ideas but I'd like to know the authors credentials before attempting these. I already do lots of them, however, I don't think I'm going to run home and try out new things on my wife because some lady on a web page said so. These all appear to be innocent ideas but I must not be a hypocrite when I've already asked my wife to please leave the Oprah ideas where they belong...with Oprah. Thus, I must do the same for her and leave these ideas right where I found them. Thanks for the list though.

-Robert

Ian

That list is so very true. Thanks for compiling this. There are a few things I can do that are listed here, but by and large, we do/have done all of the things listed.

We dance together, we hold hands, and we disagree some times. And to steal a saying I saw recently, even when we disagree we do so while holding hands.

Life is not always easy, and neither are relationships, but when you find the right person, it is worth the effort to reap the rewards.

Great post, Marelisa.

Ians last blog post..Will Google Buy Yahoo?

Jim Gaudet

First I think number 4 should be number 1. Listening I think is the number one thing to try and do. The most important.

Number 19, well that is just a little weird.

And 26 is also extremely important.

Nice list,

~ Jim

Nick from L.A.

The list is accurate, nice work. But please change the title to reflect some realities. Maybe something like:

"40 tips on how to navigate the emotional volatility, narcissistic rage, and unearned entitlement of the banal, modern western, uncritical media sponge of woman you have so unfortunately selected as a 'partner'"

And perhaps some links to online lending and investment institutions.

Because divorce, couples counseling, huge amounts of alcohol and the subsequent rehab stint, hidden credit card bills for the physic readings (palm or card readers, astrologically or self help books, feng shui consultant, crystal, magnets, COSMEDICS, anything with the term “ion” in it, etc, etc.), hail marry Mediterranean cruses, foreign brides, or faking your own death and getting a new identity are all very expensive options down the road. It would be nice to give a dude a heads up about the true costs upfront and at least allow some time for preparation.

Just some friendly suggestions, otherwise, like I said, nice work.

Oh, and under no circumstances should one ever, I mean never ever, "Follow James Brolin’s advice."

Avani-Mehta

Hey ... that's an awesome list. We tried learning dance together, was lot of fun. Within a day it stopped mattering whether we actually learn it in the end, the process by itself was enjoyable. Created a lot of good memories then.

Avani-Mehtas last blog post..New Blog Of The Week

Writer Dad

I've only got five to go; great. Off to schedule tango lessons.

Brandi Magill

Lord knows marriage isn't always easy, this is a great start to better your relationship with your significant other. I agree 100% with Vered, sense of humor and mutual respect are a must!Thanks for posting!

Vered - MomGrind

These are great, Mare.

A sense of humor and mutual respect are musts.

Hunter Nuttall

I love #2: "It's OK to disagree: if two people always agree, one of them isn't necessary."

This is certainly true. With absolutely no disagreement at all, life would get boring. I'm not sure what you'd do in that case though. "Honey, I regret to inform you that you're not necessary. Do you agree with that?"

Fortunately, every relationship comes with at least a small amount of disagreement built in!

MizFit

yes
to em all.

IM SO BLESSED to have a fabulous marriage and yet when I read the list I thought:
oooh. we do have a good marriage because we work our arses off...doing this list.

but its so worth it.

Miz.

MizFits last blog post..Poetry slam. MizFit style (if by SLAM you mean my awkward verse—-which I do).

Stacey / Create a Balance

I just printed off this list and will post it where my husband and I can see it. In the daily routines of our lives, we can all learn from this list. This also reminds me that I need to call the babysitter to schedule my next date with my husband. Thanks!

Stacey / Create a Balances last blog post..Bingo! Embracing Money

Lance

Nice list! I see several I can improve upon. First off, one we have done - learn to tango. Actually I don't remember if that was the dance we learned. But we took dance lessons together. It was a fun night out for several weeks!

One I can improve on: holding hands. I will work on that one this weekend. My wife very much loves this. And yet, I don't "think" of it sometimes when we're walking. An easy one, if I'm just a little more conscious of doing it...

Lances last blog post..Cheerful Wins!