(“Into the Woods”; courtesy of Fixed Image)
In the words of Paul Boese, ““Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” Read the parable on forgiveness below, author unknown, and see if it inspires you to forgive someone you’ve been harboring a grudge against.
Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch. Then the long collaboration fell apart.
It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.
One morning there was a knock on John’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox. “I’m looking for a few days work” the man said. “Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?”
“Yes,” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbor, in fact, it’s my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll go him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence — an 8-foot fence — so I won’t need to see his place anymore. That’ll show him.”
The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”
The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.
The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job.
The farmer’s eyes opened wide. His jaw dropped.
There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge — a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work, handrails and all — and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.
“You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.”
The two brothers met at the middle of the bridge, taking each other’s hand.
They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. “No, wait! Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother.
“I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, “but I have so many more bridges to build.”
Where are you building fences when you could be building bridges?
Related Posts:
- Inspiration Sunday, June 22, 2008
- Inspiration Sunday, June 29, 2008
- Inspiration Sunday, July 6, 2008
- Inspiration Sunday, July 13, 2008
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Mare – what a beautiful story. And I love the quote too. Thank you.
This is a great story; I enjoyed it. I agree that holding grudges is really toxic and undesirable. And this story demonstrates it beautifully.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..Realizing You’re a Magician Can Create Magic in Your Life
It’s a hard lesson to learn, but now I work very hard to build the bridges. Each hardship I have encountered with someone requires that I look at myself and see what my role in it was. I then either put out my hand ‘towards my brother’ and see what I can do to mend the relationship, or I still walk away from the relationship–which is a valid option–but with no grudges held against the other person. Either option is quite freeing.
Urban Panthers last blog post..Dressing to land a man – Part III under the undergarments
Beautiful.
I was able to build bridges several times in the past, but I also had my share of fences, some of which were quite unnecessary.
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@Cath: I loved this parable and the quote too. I have a book called “The Third Party” that talks about how sometimes you need a neutral third party to show you how to resolve a difficult situation.
@Bamboo: There’s another quote that says: “While you’re holding a grudge, they’re out dancing.” So I agree that holding a grudge is just not a good idea.
@Urban Panther: You’re right that there are some situations where the best thing you can do is walk away.
@Vered: Yes, I’ve also done my share of both in the past.
Hi Mare – a great reminder on what forgiveness can bring. Thanks for sharing the story.
Al at 7Ps last blog post..How To Work On Something You Hate
@Al: Your most welcome. Now I’m thinking of writing a post on forgiveness.
Hi Marelisa,
This story is so beautiful. It’s a great reminder how little disagreements can escalate into mayor differences. How sad that the brothers lost all those years. Thank goodness the carpenter showed up.
Forgiveness does enlarge the future, doesn’t it?
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..Interview With Lorelle VanFossen – Part 1 – Stay Motivated
I thought the carpenter was going to be fired for building the wrong thing. I like your version better! It probably takes about the same amount of effort to build either a fence or a bridge, but which one is more useful?
I loved this story!
What’s that saying? In life it’s best not to burn down any bridges. I try and live by that but of course life has had it’s challenges and we all make mistakes. Still, I remind myself it’s best to build bridges than put up fences no matter what the situation.
Ricardo Buenos last blog post..Quote of the Day: words that have "meaning"
@Barbara: Disagreements certainly can escalate. People often find they haven’t spoke to a friend or loved one in years and they can’t even remember why.
@Hunter: I’m also glad the carpenter wasn’t fired, but he sure risked his neck didn’t he?
@Ricardo: People may think that the world is big, but somehow you always manage to keep running into the same people. So I agree that it’s best to think very carefully before burning any bridges.
I love this parable – it’s a great reminder of what we should be doing in our lives, but often don’t.
I also want to let you know I really enjoy your Sunday articles, they are always inspiring to me.
Lances last blog post..Vacation
Hey Lance, thank you. I’ve been collecting inspiring poems, quotes, and stories for awhile now. It’s my pleasure to share them.
That is a lovely story. I have people in my life that I can do without, but I’m not at a point where I don’t speak to them. Sometimes, I’m tired of being the one doing all the forgiving. I’m the type of person that if you’ve done something to make me mad, you really, uh well messed up. I consider myself a peacemaker, but some people make it hard, so while I haven’t built any fences, I don’t mind taking the scenic route to keep the peace. If I see you along the way I’ll say hello. I forgive, but do I have to like you too?
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@Natural: The story is really about a small misunderstanding that grew and grew because each side handled the conflict all wrong. And it’s amazing how many so-called “fights” start out that way. But I also think that there’s a limit to how many chances you have to give someone. And you know, there’s some people whom you just don’t like, that’s OK.