“The indispensable first step to getting the things that you want out of life is this: decide what you want.” — Ben Stein
The first step in creating your ideal life is to decide what you want. Think of the best life you can possibly imagine and list everything you would like to have, do and be—-both small and large, and even outrageous–in the next 30 years.
You’re going to create your ideal scenario for each major area of your life. Ask yourself the following question: What would my life look like if I could have it anyway I wanted? I suggest that you divide your life into the following eleven life areas:
1. Finances
2. Learning/Personal Development
3. Vocation/Career/Contribution
4. Love/Romance/Passing on Your Genes
5. Social/Interpersonal/Community
6. Home
7. Spiritual
8. Fitness/Health
9. Style/Personal Appearance
10. Travel/Adventure/Fun
11. Possessions
Spend a month or so collecting ideas for your ideal life vision. Cut out pictures from magazines, mail order catalogues, postcards, and brochures. In addition, yo can visit the following websites for inspiration:
- Creating a Bucket List: 100 Things to Do Before You Die
- SoYouWanna.com
- HowStuffWorks.com
- About.com
- ExpertVillage.com
- 43Things.com
As you go through these resources, think about the following for each of your life areas:
Finances
What would you like your net worth to be? When would you like to retire? How much money do you need to finance your life goals? What investments would you like to make? Are you going to create multiple streams of income? Are you going to invest in stocks and/or bonds? Are you going to invest in real estate? Are you going to hire a financial planner? Is your goal to create enough passive income so that you don’t have to work another day in your life?
Learning/Personal Development
What skills would you like to acquire? What courses or seminars would you like to attend? What books would you like to read? Would you like to read self-help books such as “Getting Things Done”, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, “The 4-Hour Workweek”, and “The Now Habit”? How about reading every book that has won a Pulitzer prize or the complete works of Shakespeare? Do you have a list of 100 movies you’d like to watch?
What languages would you like to study? Would you like to: become fluent in French; learn conversational Spanish; learn Mandarin; or learn Latin?
Would you like to learn to play a musical instrument? Do you want to take a dance class?
What are your thinking strategies? Does your thinking style serve you well? Would you like to develop a different mindset? Do you need to learn how to master your emotions?
Vocation/Career/Contribution
What do you want to do? What do you want to contribute? What would you like to be known for in your profession? What kind of impact would you like to have? What could you create? What contributions do you dream of making? What does your work day look like? What is your ideal work environment? Would you like to be self-employed? Would you like to start a business and then have others run it for you? Would you like to create an online business?
Would you like to write a book, make a documentary film, have an art exhibit, or release an album?
Love/Romance/Passing on Your Genes
What would you like your relationship with your partner to be like? Do you want to get married? Do you want to be a parent? How would you create a home with an inviting, joyous, comfortable, loving atmosphere? How would you raise a happy and healthy child?
Social/Interpersonal/Community
What kind of organizations would you like to be involved in? What qualities and values do you want your friends to have? What kind of activities would you like to participate in with your friends?
Do you want to volunteer or participate in charitable organizations? Would you like to build a Habitat for Humanity Home, join the Peace Corps, join a Big Brother, Big Sister Program, volunteer at a homeless shelter, or mentor someone at work? Is there a particular group of people you would like to help, such as the people of Darfur, teenage mothers, children with leukemia, and so on? Are you interested in looking for ways to reduce your ecological footprint?
Home
What is your perfect home environment? Do you want to live in a beach house, a house by the lake, a Colonial house, or an apartment? What would you like to see, hear, and smell when you walk into your home? What is the view from the window? How much space would make you comfortable? What kind of decor do you enjoy? What objects would you like to be surrounded by? Would you like a session with a closet organizer? Do you want to have a garden? Do you want to have a swimming pool? Do you want to have a fireplace? What are must-have features for your dream house?
Spiritual
What would make you feel spiritually fulfilled? Would you like to start meditating? Would you like to take up yoga, tai chi, Qi Gong, participate in a Native American Sweat Lodge Ceremony, become a Reiki master, or take up another healing practice? Do you need to heal old wounds? Do you need to learn to forgive?
Fitness/Health
What is your ideal weight? What are your fitness goals? Are there any athletic goals you would like to achieve? Would you like to do any of the following: run a marathon; become a tri-athlete; learn archery; learn to play golf; go kayaking; go horse-back ridding; learn to ski; take up fishing; learn to play tennis; learn karate; or try fencing?
What is your ideal diet? Would you like to eat only organic foods? Would you like to become a vegetarian? Would you like to try the raw food diet?
Style/Personal Appearance
What clothes/shoes/accessories would you like to own? What’s your personal style? What clothes make you feel comfortable and attractive? Do you want a Chanel or an Armani wardrobe?
Travel/Adventure/Fun
Where would you like to go? Do you want to travel the world first class, staying in five-star hotels and dining in the finest restaurants? Would you like to visit the Grand Canyon, Victoria Falls, the Serengeti, the Great Barrier Reef, the Galapagos Archipelago, the Amazon Rainforest, or the Fjords of Norway? Would you like to party at Mardi Gras in New Orleans, participate in Carnival in Rio de Janeiro, greet the New Year at Times Square in New York, or go to Oktober-Fest in Germany? What cities do you dream of visiting? How about Jerusalem, Athens, Las Vegas, Chicago, Beijing, Buenos Aires, Berlin, London, Paris?
What museums would you like to visit? How about El Prado, the Uffizi Gallery, the Hermitage, the Louvre, the Musée de l’Orangerie, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the British Museum, or the Van Gogh Museum.
What adventures would you like to have? Would you like to ride in a hot air balloon, go paragliding, go sky diving, go on a helicopter ride, go snorkeling or scuba diving, swim with sharks, ride a mechanical bull, go rock-climbing, go bungee-jumping, go white-water rafting, drive a race car, or learn to fly a plane? Would you like to visit the wreckage of the Titanic aboard a submarine or go to the moon with Virgin Galactic?
What hobbies would you like to take-up? You can choose from learning to juggle, learning to play chess, learning to play poker, learning to play pool, taking up photography, learning to make pottery, learning to sculpt, learning to paint or draw, making mobiles, making models of cars, ships or planes, restoring a classic car, jewelry making, beading, sewing, knitting, and so on.
Possessions
What would you like to own? What kind of car would you like to drive? Do you want to own a boat? Are there any electronic gadgets you would really like to have? Would you like to simplify your life? Do you need to get rid of clutter? Would you like to collect art, have a demitasse collection, or collect Russian nesting dolls?
Conclusion
Record all of the information that you gather during your month-long search for ideas on what your ideal life would look like. On the 23rd of July–exactly one month from today–we will discuss the next steps to take to make your ideal life go from the drawing board to reality. Be ready!
Editor’s Note: On July 22nd the next steps to take were published at Six Steps to Creating the Life You Really Want.
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(The “Will You Still Love Me in the Morning?” photograph is courtesy of manfrommanila).
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The Sedona Method is a simple, powerful, easy-to-learn technique that shows you how to let go of any negative, unwanted or painful feelings you may be experiencing at any particular moment. It consists of a series of questions you ask yourself that lead your awareness to focus on what you’re feeling in the moment and gently guide you toward letting it go. Read my review of the Sedona Method here.
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{ 25 comments }
Hi Marelisa,
This is shaping up to be an intriguing and very informational idea.
What happens too often in life is that we don’t plan and we don’t know what we want. Some say, “these are the cards I was dealt”, but don’t realize in some cases they can ask for a “redeal”. By planning our futures, and focusing on our goals (long and short term), we can often change the course of a life that looked bleak.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..You’re Only As Good As Your Current Post
Barbara’s comment reminded me of this quote:
“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” – Randy Pausch
Few of us will be dealt a royal flush. Does that mean we should just give up because what we want isn’t automatically given to us? Of course not, we can always work towards what we want. But first we need to decide what that is.
Hunter Nuttalls last blog post..The Millionaire Mindset
What an interesting idea! I never thought to do something like this. I do have a general idea of what I want my life to look like, but I never gave it this much thought. Inspiring – thanks!
Vereds last blog post..When Two Bloggers Write an Almost-Identical Post
Reading all this is certainly good for the mind. Two things that stand out to me, I want to master my emotions. This is something I work on every day. Also, there are books out there I want to read that I haven’t yet. Good list, really makes you think. Without planning ahead, ones results will probably not be optimal. Let’s make it optimal!
Bamboo Forests last blog post..How to Squash Negativity with Your Bare Hands
Well, this looks like an intensive exercise! But, then, I guess we’re only here on this earth once, and to make it what we desire, it’s not going to just happen by chance. There is a lot of stuff here, and I’m going to give it a try – it’ll take some time, I’m sure, to complete. I keep putting stuff like this off, because it never seems urgent, but in reality, it’s so important for our long term happiness. Thanks for putting this thorough exercise together.
Lances last blog post..Sunday Thought for the Day
@Barbara: I think we have a lot more control over our lives than most people think. Tim Ferris recently wrote a post where he explains that there’s less competition for big goals than there is for small goals, so at the end of the day it’s even easier to aim for the stars than it is to reach for the low hanging fruit.
@Hunter: Here’s another great quote: “It’s funny about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the very best you will very often get it.” W. Somerset Maugham
@Vered: You know, I think that if you’re very clear on what you want you’re more likely to get it. That being said, sometimes the universe has something even better in store for you than you could possibly come up with yourself. So it’s kind of like finding the right balance between planning and letting things happen.
@Bamboo: I’ll be publishing a post on emotional intelligence soon, it’s something that I think is very important as well.
@Lance: I think the trick is not trying to do it in a day or two, but instead giving yourself a longer period of time. That’s why I suggest taking 30 days to gather your material (clippings, books, website articles, and so on) and to start putting a plan together for yourself.
These are great resources. I do have a picture board with goals on but I still have a lot to add. It would also help if I put it somewhere I could actually see it!
Cath Lawsons last blog post..From PTSD To Success – Is It Possible?
Hi Cath: I think that the more you look at your goals (whether on a picture board like you have, or a journal where you write down what you want, or a sketching pad where you make collages), the more you train your mind to look look for ways to help you get what you want.
There is so much to think about here! I like some of the more specific categories you break it down into. Like, I wouldn’t have thought of possessions or style, but that does matter. Figuring out what I truly want to own would make it easier to cut out stuff I don’t want. The number of categories here makes me think beyond the typical, “What do you want your life to be like,” question, which is a great starting point but is usually not specific enough to backwards engineer.
I totally want to read Modern Library’s 100 Best Novels. Only about 20% done there. I also want the kind of friends who let me know when I make a stupid typo so that I can fix it.
Saras last blog post..Simplify Your Cleaning Routine
My wife is really good at deciding what she wants. She decided that she wanted me and she got me…LOL
Kidding aside, my wife really is good at deciding what she wants. I’ve grown and learned from her and through this our wants and needs have meshed together and became one. Kinda like our marriage.
chriss last blog post..Haaaaarvard
Sara: There is a lot to think about, I got myself 11 folders–one for each life area–and I’m going to start adding stuff to each one starting today. I have a list of 100 books I want to read, but I’m going to have to order them from Amazon because it’s not that easy finding the latest books here in Panama (reading is not a popular activity here).
You know, the brain is very good at filling in gaps so most people probably didn’t even notice
@Chris: I’m pretty good at deciding what I want too, I think your wife and I would get along very well.
okay i stumbled this post, i’m going to print it out and read it again.
i have been questioning what i want and i know the job i have is not it. it’s so not me and i have to get out. i am thinking of ways to make this happen and need to stop thinking about it, but start doing some of it.
thanks marelisa. i found quamut last week. i love it.
Naturals last blog post..Too Successful For A Mate
Natural: I’m so glad you liked the post and thank you for stumbling it. I know what you mean about not being in a job where you´re happy. I worked for the Panama Canal Authority (government entity that runs the Panama Canal) and although I loved the work itself, a lot of the people there were just toxic.
Mare -
What a refreshing article. I just interviewed Tina Su. I adore her for her creativity and passion. Here’s what she said about the secret of her success -
“Having a crystal clear vision for what I want, having faith that I can do it, and diving in with massive action without spending any time considering “what if I fail?” I believe that knowing what you want is the main reason why people do not receive what they want, because they have not defined what that thing is. It’s important to not only set goals, but setting goals that are measurable and dated. It is also important to set goals that are relatively believable by you to achieve in a reasonable amount of time.”
It’s just splendid.
Shilpan
Shilpan | successsoul.coms last blog post..An Interview with Tina Su of Think Simple Now
I’m happy to see this because it’s something I’m doing now and its nice to see an outline I can apply to my “adventures”
I do want to live my best life. The only thing I need to remember while doing this is to enjoy the road instead of waiting to live. Very valuable post Marelisa!
JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, Yous last blog post..Life Coach: What Can One Do for You?
@Shilpan: Ha! So Tina and I think alike, good to know. I read the interview and it was great.
@Jemi: I know what you mean, I also have to remember to keep a balance between striving to create the best future I can while enjoying the now. I’m so glad you found the post useful!
When I was very young and at the beginning of my worklife, a family friend was offering some advice about a career in graphic design.
What he said was:”you need to think about the lifestyle you want to live”. I don’t think I properly appreciated that advice back then, but I do now.
This post reminded me of that conversation: create a vision and work towards it.
Ann at One Bag Nations last blog post..Just Do It – Starting is the Hardest Part
@Ann: There’s a proverb that goes: “the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago; the second best time is now”. I’m definitely going to be planting tress
Thanks for this. Article who your writen was so important for me. Thanks again
“Decide what you want”, this exact topic has been on my mind A LOT. I even wrote about it on my blog a couple of days ago. I woke up this morning thinking “I want abundant confidence and abundant bliss”. This morning was the first time I read your blog. It’s great by the way! Almost by accident, I clicked-through from Jemi’s blog. Perfect timing! Thanks to both of you.
Hi Shannon: Welcome. I’m glad you’re enjoying my blog. “I want abundant confidence and abundant bliss” is a great affirmation!
Hi Marelisa
I have done this before, but I haven’t seen it suggested to separate out all the different parts of our life. I think that is incedibly useful and makes this exercise much more thorough. I’m going to re-do mine as I’ve been feeling a bit lost recently and I think I need some clarity on where I want to go in life.
Thanks for this. You have some real quality articles on your site. I’m so glad I found it.
Kelly
Kelly@SHE-POWERs last blog post..Does Evil Lurk Inside Us All?
@Kelley: I love it when people find my articles useful! It takes a lot of time and care to write them.
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